Regarding that heavy thinking, I’ve been doing? Well part of it involves the content of this post, which I recommend you read. If you read nothing else today, read this:
Great, Now I Hate Everybody, by Harriet J.
A long but fantastic post about how to incorporate ideals into your day to day life.
There’s a larger social/political/cultural structure at work when you try to live your feminist ideals, something bigger than you and your relationship with another individual. Sometimes the structure and your daily life can’t be separated viably. But other times, it’s just you and another person, and you want to know how to get along with them without considering your Feminist Value Points, or ethical consistency, or a life philosophy. The desire for positive human contact can easily outweigh all cerebral considerations, and that’s a good thing; without it, I don’t think any of us would even be able to get out of bed long enough to give a shit about feminism. I, personally, am invested in feminism and anti-oppressive ideas because I see these ideas as ways to create a world where more people are willing to connect with each other, because there are less artificial, constructed, hierarchical fault lines keeping them apart. So it’s not good enough for me to decide that my feminism just means I have to be lonely from now on. If I don’t connect with and care about people — real individual people — what the hell is feminism for?
Take the time, read it.